I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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