This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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