Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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