Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I want is dick and wine.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
