We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
