Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
