no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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