i may or may not be watching the land before time
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
