when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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