Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
