You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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