Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
