he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Send help, water and tortillas.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Never joke about your clitoris.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
