So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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