the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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