nut hugger
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
