I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
