I think my vagina is haunted
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
