I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
