My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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