so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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