tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
