my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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