Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
