Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
