Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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