stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
