and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
