Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
