You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
