would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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