I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
