So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
