maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ketchup is God's man juice
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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