shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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