Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
