I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just gargled with NyQuil
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
