I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
