For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
