i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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