So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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