Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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