Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize