All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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