I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
