i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
