so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
