It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Text me some of your sweat
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
