and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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