i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
