wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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