New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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