Who did Billy Mays play for?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i now understand why vodka
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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