If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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