I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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