Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
