I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
