No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
