Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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