never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
