Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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