You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
