OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
