Screwed.edu
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
