ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
