Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
