It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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