names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
