I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
