i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize