i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
