I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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