Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
