Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
