Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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