More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
