it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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