Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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