There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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