I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize